Do you get time away?

While having a house full of 8 kids this week (yes, I said 8) ranging from 1-7 years old,

 it made me pause and think about how often we as parents of children with special needs get time away.

These kids have multiple diagnosis, disorders, allergies, delays etc...

• Autism
• Dysphagia
• G-Tube
• Apraxia of speech
• Celiac with Dairy intolerance
• Sensory Processing Disorder
• Frontal Lobe delay 
• Gross/Fine motor delays

Now I list this not because I want to get sympathy or a woe-is-me, I love having all these babies under the same roof.

They get a long so well with minimal fighting, and the food restrictions are not difficult to work with and everyone can eat and be healthy.

Just ask my husband I can't stop cuddling the baby because she is squishy and snuggly and my 2 yr old (baby)  is a touch me not because of his sensory needs.

I am posting this because for the first time in 7 years my sister is having a break.

I kid you not she has been with one or all her 5 babies since birth for the last 7 years.

 She needed a break a LONG time ago, but it's sad that we as parents of special needs kids struggle to feel comfortable leaving these babies in the care of other even for a few hours let alone a day or more.

Parts are certainly overwhelming and we all learn to move into a new "Normal" once a routine or plan of care is in place.

But it's terrible that we don't get to take time for ourselves. 

I am happy for my sister!

She is currently pregnant with #6 and will be welcoming that precious baby in July 2017.

She is also working and going to Medical Assistant school and will graduate in May 2017.

 My Brother-in-Law is in Florida training with his new service dog.

And honestly if he wasn't needing to be down there I know this 8+ days with the kiddos wouldn't have happened. 

Not because we weren't willing or able (we offered to take them so they didn't have a babysitter for 3 weeks to help while dad was gone).

 But because I think as parents of kids with multiple special needs/dietary restrictions we feel guilty.

Yes, GUILTY!

• To take any extended time/vacation away
• Ask for help
• Make plans that would involve more than a trip to the store
• Feel vulnerable and less than Super Man/Woman to friends and family

Why is it more acceptable when your child is "Typical"?

We all need time away to recharge and date our spouse.

We need to make sure our own mental and physical health is met, and that we can detach ourselves from wrapping up our whole identity in our child's disorder/condition.

Have we ever thought what life may look like when we no longer have to be the 24/7 caregiver? 

God willing because they have started living on their own or have mastered enough skills to function unattended outside the home at a job or school?

There needs to be a life for us outside of "mom/dad/therapist/teacher/driver/cook/maid" otherwise we will have a very hard time transitioning from carer to just ME.

And I know I am being optimistic, sometimes and actually more often than not the parent(s) have:

•  A limited and really non-existent local support system.  
• Don't get out much to be able to meet good friends. 
• Too expensive to pay a suitable babysitter.
• Child's needs are too great to have someone who doesn't understand complex medical needs

So friends and family of these special parents please I beg of you...

If you have an afternoon or evening offer to watch their child, 

If you don't know how to care for the child ask to be taught.

Come over and have coffee or lunch with them if they can't leave the house.

Call and chat with them.

Let them have a NAP! Believe me they are chronically exhausted.

It is these moments where someone else can meet them where they're at that will make such a difference.

Don't be afraid, if the parent's can learn and handle this then so can you it just takes a willing heart.